Chika Ibe’s Journey to Self-Discovery — The Sugar Girl Reality
Self-discovery is the act of accepting who you are and treating yourself with respect and nurturing your overall well being. It’s a lifelong journey of self-examination that gives us an insight into our purpose in life.
Self-discovery is a fundamental component of personal growth and can be achieved by self-reflection. Self-reflection allows us to appraise our inner selves including our actions, values, beliefs and emotions. All of this is geared toward personal development.
Sylvia sat down with Instagram blogger and Content Creator, Chika Ibe as she shares her self-discovery journey. She talks about how she has overcome negativity and how she is still working to become a better version of herself.
Below is an excerpt of the interview
When I found you on Instagram, your bio stated that you’re on a journey to self-discovery. Can you talk about it?
Chika: I’ve been on this journey since last year… I don’t know if it was just me. So, towards the end of 2019 to 2020, it was a rough year. I had just finished NYSC and you do this whole thing with looking for a job; it was just too stressful. I just started sabotaging myself to a point I felt I was not enough. I was like, “why am I still here?”
I know many people go through life wearing a mask and hiding who they truly are. They are simply playing the role of what others want them to be. I know self-discovery is like a journey that helps us to identify our true selves. What made you decide to go on this journey?
Chika: One day I just woke up and said, “Why are you doing this to yourself? People are going through worse circumstances and they have found a way to survive it, even though they are not perfect and you are here with just this little problem. Is it worth it? Why do you want to kill yourself? Why do you want to make yourself feel you’re not enough?”
I just decided to start. There was no real reason because I wasn’t that low. I was just like, “Chika start loving yourself, you are the firstborn. If you continue like this, how will other people do?” I think that’s where the inspiration was coming from. I needed to be there for my siblings because they are looking up to me. You can’t be mediocre. I can’t be looking around and be asking myself ‘why am I not making it?’ I told myself, “Chika, just accept.” This whole idea of loving myself and discovering myself is just to accept any situation that I may experience no matter how hard.
Even at this time, I’m going through stuff but it’s going to pass. Your problems in 2019 are not the same problems for 2021.
Who and what motivates you to keep going? What gives you that drive? I know it’s easy. You need motivation.
Chika: It’s my sister. My sister is eleven years old and I just look at her like, imagining how she will be growing up and then see me in a different phase like my mental health is bad. How would she react? She’s at a stage where you can’t just tell her anything. She’s the most important person. I don’t want to look like I hate myself, it will rub off on her and she will say “Oh my God! If Chika doesn’t love herself, how am I going to love myself?” I just had to make sure.
Have you encountered any obstacle since you started this journey?
Chika: Yes. Last year was very tough and it wasn’t funny. My cousin used to stay with me. One morning I woke up and was literally crying for no reason. If anybody had asked me what happened, I would not have been able to explain. That day was a huge breakdown. I had a panic attack. My cousin came and was like “Oh my God.” I won’t say I was depressed but my whole mental health was hidden from everybody. My family and friends knew me as a happy friend, the one that always smiles. I went downstairs. I didn’t want anybody to know that I was crying. I sent a message on my group chat. I wrote, “Guys something is happening to me right now and I don’t understand what is happening.”
So, nothing triggered you?
Chika: I just woke up. I was trying to apply for some schools that period and that morning, I woke up and was telling myself, “Why are you bothering yourself? Why are you trying to make this effort? It’s not going to work out.” That is what happens to me. I can tell myself I love this and want to go for it and the next minute, something is telling me, “Why are you bothering yourself, it’s not going to work out. So, when I finished crying, I started asking myself, “Why did you just cry now? What was the reason?” Then I realized that I probably had a mid-life crisis at 20 (laughs).
What is the most important thing you’ve learned in your life so far?
Chika: Just accept. The simple word, Accept. Accept your life right now. In the next year, it will be a new problem so just accept what’s happening now and try to work your way around it.
What activities or things give you the most joy?
Chika: Painting, designing. I don’t know if you can see something at the back? (shows a sample). I paint for fun and I’m currently doing one right now. It is a hobby for me and I actually illustrate.
You know self-discovery is the act of accepting who you are, treating yourself with respect and nurturing your overall well being. Were you ever at a point in your life where you didn’t love yourself as much you wanted to?
Chika: Yes. That was like secondary school and in university. I was a confident child. I grew up chubby and my mum made me confident while growing up. You couldn’t tell me anything. I believed I was fine, peng and then it was a traumatic experience in my first secondary school. The bullying was too much. I was on the big side and seniors will always want to pick on you, your mates too. There was a day I finished having my bath and then this girl came up to me and said, “Eww Chika you have stretch marks.” At that point in time, I didn’t know what stretch marks were. My mum had them on her tummy and to me, it was a regular thing for someone who was growing to have them, but then it was bad because I didn’t know what it was. When she said that I felt there was a problem with my skin. Then I started hating myself and began covering my skin because I felt I had a scar on my body that’s not meant to be seen. I’m still trying to love that part of my body because…they always talk about body positivity and the people they bring out are always peng people. It’s still like trying to love that part of your body but can’t be that person displayed. The person might be going through stuff as well and you will be beating up yourself and wondering why you’re not like the person. So, it’s still a work in progress about loving that part of my body.
How have you been dealing with stress lately?
Chika: I just listen to music and sometimes eat. I’m not going to lie (laughs). Or I could paint or design or call somebody. I have a lot of things to do too. You know sometimes, for you to forget something, you have to do something else to forget them. So. I’m always looking for ways to distract myself.
What things do you look forward to every morning when you wake up?
Chika: Right now, I’m doing a challenge on Instagram and I always look forward to what people will say about it. Will they like it? That’s what I look forward to now, basically.
Is content creation a job for you now?
Chika: Yes, but I’ve not started getting money from it. I feel like my follower count is too low. I love creating things. So, it’s not like work to me but I’m like this is nice, let me continue doing it. If I eventually get paid for doing it, it will be so interesting. I love it. It’s fun for me.
I know you also blog. Is it something you’ve been doing for a while?
Chika: Yes. I celebrated my blog’s anniversary on October 1st last year(2020). Blogging is a hobby. I currently don’t have anything that’s paying me. I’m in the whole job search thing. All that I do is just for a hobby.
How old are you?
Chika: I’m 22.
If everything is perfect and everything happens according to plan, how would your life look in 10 years time?
Chika: I will be living by myself in a nice apartment or house with a partner. I will also be a full-time blogger/content creator and making money from it. I would also like to work in a media firm like EbonyLife. I would like to work in a firm like that where the whole job is about being creative. I would have gotten my masters. I would have travelled to a lot of places, at least 10. Then, I’d be a happy person, generally. I’d learn to just take life and be happy. We have only one life and I can’t keep doing this whole thing. Just take life, accept life, be happy and be closer to my friends, family, check up on people often, be someone that people respect and want to easily talk to. Be a role model to young girls out there, be an inspiration to many. I want people to look up to me and say, “She did this, so I can do it.”
Do You really talk about your journey on Instagram?
Chika: Not really. Only people who know will know. I don’t share it often. I won’t say people don’t take it as anything but you know, some people feel when you keep on telling them the whole thing, they would start feeling you are oversharing and be like, “Aunty it’s ok?” I don’t want it to be like I’m always having a problem. I want people to understand what I’ve been through.
Originally published at https://www.sugargirlreality.com on February 1, 2021.